Layers

The walk down from the bakery to my house,

I see -

Matchbox houses, 

Their balconies lined with layers and layers of  washed clothes,

pinched together with clothespins.

A crow perched on the electric pole,the color of burnt charcoal.

I see-

Gulmohar trees, the sky playing hide 'N' seek with their leaves.

A bunch of boys playing ball.

And an old compound wall,

Pasted with posters upon posters

Like a human who has imbibed it all-hatred,love,sympathy,betrayal

Some posters are wearing off at the corners,

Just like man's weariness of it all.

Layers upon layers we keep it all all locked away

In a maze, we run and run,

 wearing a mask ,finding our way out,

Until we don't know who we are at all.

In layers of cloth I tuck myself away, so tired from all that running-

Hoping that one day there'll be enough warmth, to suffice the long winters of this mortal world.

 -Khateeja Sadaf

Resurrection through an apology.

Sadness grips me,
A shiver runs down my spine.
I am just walking through the haze,
Like a shadow gone blind.

My wounds are still afresh,
Tears are still anew,
Won't be able to smile,
Till you accept apologies a few.

To the sound of music,
Words mean nothing.
To the heart of a poet,
They mean the world with all things.
Promise to never make you sad,
Promise to never make you cry, If I'm unable to,
I'd rather hurt and die.

A thousand apologies in my due,
Like the thousand splendid suns,
I'll do anything to revive you my ol' friend,
Lovely, loyal and young.
Alas! You smile.
The walls around you melt,
You're the most stubborn person,
With whom I have ever dealt.
                              - Khateeja Sadaf

No Man's Land

Grass tickles my toes
A dewdrop falls on my nose
As I sit with a mug of tea
In the presence of god's beauty
The musky scent of mud after rain
Adds some charm to life
Which has been ,
so long mundane

Is this the realm
Between heaven and earth?
I am at peace,
I am home
Unlike the place
Where I was all forlorn.
I'd kill to live here for eternity.
I am a slave,a captive
To its sheer beauty.
My sister's squished face
Against the window pane
Breaks my reverie
She calls me for supper-
Noodles and a potful of curry.
Heaving a sigh, I go back inside the house
Back to life's humdrum affairs
Away from the no man's land
I had just been to.
                            -Khateeja Sadaf

Yonder skies

Snuggling in the warmth of his coat,

I embraced him ,

with all I had left in me.

I sealed his lips

With a maritime kiss

Before he set offshore.

He looked at me one last time.

His lips broke into a smile

Little did he know, 

that Grim Reaper lay in my wait.

And all I wanted to do was-

Stand on my tiptoes,

And whisper into his ear, 

"Love, will you meet me yonder? 

I'll wait for you in the wild blue,

high up in the sky."

                                        -Khateeja Sadaf

From Womb To The Tomb:

My grandpa was a kind man.

He is no more.

But people still remember him ,

Just the same.

Will they do the same for me?

Or will I just be another name?

When we're born, we all cry,

When we die, others cry.

We laugh for different reasons

yet we laugh just the same

It's the same rumble from deep inside

Followed by a dull stomach pain.

We all want ,what we have not

What we have, we care not.

It's the same vicious cycle.

Drunk on utopia,

Forever on a lookout, forever insatiable.

When I think of this world:

After birth,we take berth

On the face of this earth.

Some have it wide, some narrow.

This is but life's marrow.

Some sleep under thatched roofs.

Some quiver under a blanket of stars,

And hear the sound of horse hooves.

Some rest under the glow of chandeliers

But after death- we all lie in the same 3ft by 8ft

And are buried six feet under.

                                -Khateeja Sadaf

Solitude:

One would call me melancholic

When they read this,

I'd call it solitude

For life is not always a bliss.

Loneliness anchors me down

And makes me feel like a clown!

Mocking at my own shadow-like existence

But this sentence would have looked peculiar in the past tense.

For I was once careless,young and free

And had enough leisurely time

To catch ants , caterpillars and bumble bee.

I kept 'em bottled in a glass jar

With little holes in it.

These moments are like hot chocolate

Which I savour bit by bit.

One question that always haunts me,

"What the hell am I doing here?"

Cause I feel like an alien

Whose spaceship has landed

In this materialistic sphere.

At this moment

Love comes to my rescue

And I bid adieu to solitude.

                                                     - Khateeja Sadaf

Printed In Ink

I exhaled a sigh.

And exhaustedly threw

 the morning paper.

Nothing took me by surprise now,

I felt like a helpless leper.

Brewing the world's miseries

 and drinking it all in.

Perhaps someday

 the reality would seep in.

Nothing made me dizzy no more,

The myriad of crimes

 had dulled my senses.

Rape,murder,disease,war- 

Left not a single scar.

Once in awhile, 

A paedophile or two

Would leave me askew.

Is this how we are to evolve?

The word "humanity"

Washed away from our mind,

With only a bleak line

 that separates us from animal kind.

Time's a wastin!

It's time to do

 a good deed or two,

And earn the title "human" anew.

Alas, I am done.

There's nothing more

 for me to say.

I'd be leaving this haven

 in a score or two,

And I bid ya'll adieu.

            

                                         -Khateeja Sadaf

Camouflage

A pencil behind my ear,
A notebook in my hand,
But no thoughts come to my rescue
Marching in a band.
The sunlight on the terrace
Makes my eyes squint
I look expectantly at the tree
Waiting for a hint.

Is it red, orange, vermilion or yellow?
I dunno but it's so mellow!
People call it flamboyant,
It stands before me 
Like a big , red giant!
That's how I would describe a Gulmohar tree,
Its sheer beauty captivates me.

I hear my neighbour's doorbell ring,
My mother's call for lunch,
I see a sparrow and it's chicks,
Nesting in a bunch.

That's  when I see through Nature's camouflage
And I blend in its beauty.

                                      -Khateeja Sadaf 

Our World

He's awake:

My breath 
had left me completely 
as I lay beside her,
counting her shallow breaths,
feeling the rhythm of her heartbeat 
which lulled me to sleep.

She's awake:

As I lay beside him,
with the moonlight casting 
a shadow 
over his cherub like features 
and his warmth engulfing me, 
it was this warmth of his
 that kept me safe, 
from many a
 cold sleepless winters.

In the broad daylight,
With the chaos of this world around us 
We still lay underneath our white blanket-
In our little world, untouched, 
unblemished.
                                    - Khateeja Sadaf

Blind love:

I love you,
 not cause of the way your eyes
 crinkled at the corners when you smiled.
I love you,
not cause you have delectable cheekbones.
I love you
 for your infinite scars 
which gave me faith that -I can heal.

I love all of you, flesh-skin-bones-soul. 

And when I grow ol', 
and don't remember my name,
All I want to remember is-
 your every contour,
Like a blind man reading Braille.
          
                                       -Khateeja Sadaf

How can I?

How can I?

How can I help you,
When I'm drowning.
Wish it was easy as ironing a crease,
When you're frowning.

Oh friend!how can I make you smile
When I'm faking one.
This is the irony of my life,
It makes me so undone.

How can I talk to you?
When my breath catches in my throat.
Every time you threaten to leave,
I have the urge to hide your coat.

 Don't call me a traitor,
 Don't call me a glib.
 I meant each word,
 Uttered from my lips.

How can I kiss the pain away,
When I have salt on my own wounds.
The road is steep,
Full of narrow bends,
I have a hole in my grey shirt,
That no tailor can mend.

No sire, I won't give up!
On this immortal bond of friendship,
I'll steer it away from all obstacles,
And make it one of life's miracles.

                                                       - Khateeja Sadaf

Story Of My Life

Many have written,

A word or two,

The story of their life,

 I wanna write too.

I was born an ugly duckling,

But only my heart turned into a beautiful swan.

 I wish I could turn every sorrow into delirium,

With a magical wand.

I live in self pity,

Regretting the time lost,

 For I haven't done anything in life,

Which I rather boast about.

The only hope I get ,is by 

Immersing myself in books,

I fanatsize myself as one

Who has enough courage

To get mess off my hook.

 Oh why!Oh why!

 I have everything

But own nothing

 I have life.

But no essence.

 This is my world

Without any sense.

                               - Khateeja Sadaf

Observer's Note: (like an Author's Note)

I write, not for the fame or accolades
I write,not for my name to be written in the chronicles.
I write cause my soul gets consolation- 
hearing the sound of the pen scratching against the paper.  
                                          - Khateeja Sadaf

A collection of short poems:

Oneirism:
What can I say?
Sometime I make pipe dreams with you.
Sometimes you are my pipe dream.
But your smile breaks my reverie,
Cause I know it wasn't meant for me.

The Girl Wearing A Straw Hat:
Someday... somebody will notice 
the stars dancing in my eyes,
the sun caressing my hair..
see me for who I am,
that's when I become sublime.

Woven Unwoven:
We're spools of yarn-
 different color, texture
Waiting to be unrolled.
Waiting to be spun,
Into a story untold.

Blasphemy:
What's with this rotten world?
People now use the word "love" like a profanity.
It's found in every sentence like an article-"a","an" or "the".
What they call "love"
I'd call it idiocracy.